Come check out the gore-filled and funnest place in Oth dimension! You're goin to love the samples and attractions from your favorite players!
A genuine Chris Bosh blood sample - guaranteed to make your heart stop!
A Gordon Hayward special - break-that-leg, where you get to break giant pretzels inside green socks! Love that sound!
A special D-Fence stopping area, with the ghost of Jalil Okafor - who also happens to be the actual Jalil Okafor.
A Derrick Rose stress-that-surgeon game - see how many ACL you can tear in 60 seconds! With real ACLs! Courtesy of the Orena morgue - thanks to estates of Brad Daugherty and Tim Hardaway!
Rookie Markelle Fultz will appear, dressed as zombie Len Bias. No handshakes, please - the shoulder, rememember?
And finally, don't miss the animatronic Isaiah Thomas vs. Isiah Thomas wrestling match with a surprise ending too (Spoiler: Bill Laimbeer appears from out of nowhere, and breaks the hip of Isaiah Thomas).
Not freaked out just yet? Well, why not wrap up the tour in the room of statistical horrors, where the Overlords' record 1993-2017 is on display!
See you there!
Darkness falls across the land|
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse’s shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to share your doom
All the best freaks are here, please stop staring at [just] Jalil Okafor ;-)